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Metzger Dog A Novel Thomas Perry Carl Hiaasen Books

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Metzger Dog A Novel Thomas Perry Carl Hiaasen Books

This is really first rate. A treasure. This should be part of our national heritage and made available to all Americans. Its Perry's masterpiece, but its genius--combining madcap absurdity with some deadly serious (and credible intelligence snafus)--goes far beyond mere comparisons to his other works. Its just "A masterpiece" pure and simple. Highly recommended.


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Metzger Dog A Novel Thomas Perry Carl Hiaasen Books Reviews

This is a fun book to read. Perry uses a lot of "unique" phraseology in this weird story about a weird group of people who do weird things. The fun part is when you look at what this cast of characters do, it makes good sense! We're aren't talking about really, really, really weird people, but they are a very strange group and we are given few clues for how they came to know each other and hang out together...and do some very interesting and opportunistic things on their way to attempting to extract a large ransom demand from the CIA for some classified papers they happened upon early in the story. From front to back, sit back and dispel any notion of belief - this one is for a fun fantasy ride.
One of my favorite books, and one of the best-written. I agree with another reviewer, I can't see why this hasn't been made into a movie. If it were, I'd pay to see it. I wasn't aware of any dead spots; indeed, each time I read it, I don't want to stop, because it's so compelling. Chinese Gordon, his cronies Immelman and Kepler, and his girlfriend Margaret, are all three-dimensional. So is Porterfield. Perry shows rather than tells - where another writer might stop and narrate, Perry's characters convey the information to us via dialog (or their own thoughts) that always moves the story along.

Part of the magic of this book is the way Perry handles the discrepancy between how characters appear (to other characters in the story) and their "true" natures. This information trickles out bit by bit as the story unfolds; as we read "Appendix XXIII" we realize what a monster one of them is - a total contrast with what we thought at the beginning; the one who is supposedly "The Angel of Death" spends the majority of the book trying to save lives. Even the idiots in charge are better than 2-dimensional; we come to see why they are dangerous, and we despise them at the end - and wonder, "is it possible that it's really this bad?"

Every time I read this book, I'm stunned at how brilliant it is.
Great black comedy that I wish I'd discovered years ago (it was published in 1993). Anti-hero Chinese Gordon matches wits with a dysfunctional CIA and nearly destroys Los Angeles in the process. Gordon is aided and abetted by a genius girlfriend, two muscle sidekicks and a maniacal cat named Dr. Henry Metzger. Among the latter's talents is the taming of a lunatic dog the size of a lion who provides his own set of laughs throughout the story.

"Metzger's Dog" came out more than 20 years ago--meaning it's action takes place without a lot of electronic (cellphones, Internet, etc) assistance, and it is definitely richer and funnier for that lack.

The cherry on the sundae is an introduction to the book by the zany Carl Hiaasen whose admiration for the book should give any potential reader of the novel a clue as to how far out on the edge it is.
Leroy Chinese Gordon (Wonderful name!) is a bit of an idiot savant, minor criminal, tool and die guy who lives in Los Angeles. He has lovingly hand-built his own anti-aircraft gun and mounted it in the back of his Ford van. He has two close friends who have particular skills (lockpicking and sharpshooting) and who comprise his "gang." He has a beautiful (Of course!) and smart (Surprisingly!) girlfriend named Margaret. Chinese himself is ruled by his roommate, Dr. Henry Metzger, a cat.

Chinese learns of experiments with cocaine that are being done by the University of Los Angeles. The University has a large store of the white stuff and Chinese makes a plan to steal it.

He and his cohorts are successful in grabbing the cocaine, but while they are on site, Chinese overhears a professor talking to a visitor about something very valuable that is in his office. He doesn't exactly say what this "something" is, but Chinese is intrigued. He decides to go rogue. He breaks into the professor's office and takes a locked box which is the only thing there that looks like it could possibly be valuable.

When the box is opened later, it is found to contain only papers. But what papers!

That professor had been conducting field experiments in psychological warfare for the CIA, no less. The papers in the box were his detailed reports of his findings and, essentially, contained instructions on how to wage psywar and how to bring a city to its knees. These are papers that the CIA will want back very badly.

After their caper at the university, the Gordon gang drives to a junkyard while attempting to evade the authorities. At the junkyard, through a series of events too complicated to explain here, they meet the iconic junkyard dog, a huge, black brute that does his best to devour them, and they kidnap him. Problem is no one can control the dog. That is until they get him home and he meets Dr. John Metzger. The cat takes charge of the dog. Thus, Metzger's Dog.

This is my first experience in reading a Thomas Perry novel. This particular book was first published in 1983, but was reissued in the early 2000s with a foreward by Carl Hiaasen. I read the edition which included the foreward, and, a few sentences in, Hiaasen had me laughing out loud. I thought if the book maintained the same level of humor I was in for a real treat. I was not disappointed.

The book is full of nutty characters, including many in the CIA. It is wonderfully creative and manages, in addition to the humor, to convey some clever insights into people and bureaucracies and the way they work. It is a real comic tour de force.

Most of the book has Gordon, along with his partners in crime and his girlfriend, trying to find a way to convince the CIA to turn over five million dollars in ransom in return for the papers. The CIA, unfortunately, is led by a couple of dolts, who are convinced that they are dealing with some foreign terrorist organization, and they keep trying to take that organization out while failing to deliver the money. The toll of dead bodies mounts - mostly bad guys, I should note, and none of them the actual culprits.

There is a cadre of old hands at the CIA who realize what is going on and that their leaders are screwing things up. They decide to take matters into their own hands.

The stunts that the gang pull along the way kept me smiling and chuckling. I wouldn't say the book is laugh-out-loud-Dave-Barry funny, but it is amusing. The writing is subtle. The banter between characters is sharp. All in all, it was a fun read and a nice introduction to the work of Thomas Perry. I think I'll be visiting him again.
This is really first rate. A treasure. This should be part of our national heritage and made available to all Americans. Its Perry's masterpiece, but its genius--combining madcap absurdity with some deadly serious (and credible intelligence snafus)--goes far beyond mere comparisons to his other works. Its just "A masterpiece" pure and simple. Highly recommended.